Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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