there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Actions speak louder than pants.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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