I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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