look no pants
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
