I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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