New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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