I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
