wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
