She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
