Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
