told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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