no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
