There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
