I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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