i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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