: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize