Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
