I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
