Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
