She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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