I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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