everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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