Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
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I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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