The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
