I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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