Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
