Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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