Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
