There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if Iām going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
