we have officially lost it.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
