He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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