I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
