i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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