remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
