He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I have feelings that need drinking.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
