4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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