btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize