I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
