i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Are we still banned from the library?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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