You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
