i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
