when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
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