I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I party with great urgency now.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
