She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
