Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize