Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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