ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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