I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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