Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
PANTIES FOUND
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