Duck Duck Cougar?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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