So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
