I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
