I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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