Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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