Can i not drive my cunt home
She said her name was "party"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
