Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
