hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
